Looking back at the past.. i can't but keep asking myself why can ppl changed overnight to be such a heartless & cruel person. Doesn't anything of our past reminds u of anything which is worth u remembering.
Right from the start wen we dated at the age of 17, the amount of hardship, suffering, happiness & loveliness that we had gone through. Nothing seems to leave a print in ur head nor heart. Ironical as it is, it had left a deep & huge scar in my life. Perhaps in this relationship, i have always been the one giving and u, the one receiving. Thus u dun feel anything at all.
I didn't leave u in your 2 years of army life which most gals will.. I didn't leave u when u were down & out. Yet i chosse to stick with u through thick and thins but to only realise that i'm not the person u are willing to share tat little bit of happiness with. I'm not a perfect gal but yet i dun feel i'm that bad a gf to deserve this kind of hurt from u. Money aside, have u appreciates every other things i did for u? Sad to say, u dun.. Until now, u dun show a bit of remorse for wat u haf done & yet still fooling me on each time. But i noe one day u will, cos "What comes around goes around." U will be treated the same way like u did to me one day and perhaps till then u will realised the pain & hurt u haf brought to someone who loves u so deeply before for a lifetime.
I seriously wish to get out of this shit.. I dun wish to have any things to do wif u any longer.. But there are just things that just tie me to u... Y am i such a fool? U didn't honour ur words each and every time. In front of her, u made it sound so nicely that u will take responsibilities for ur own things and will not implicate me anymore but came to me thereafter to ask if there's a need to make things till like tat. Blame it on my heart that i'm unable to be firm to u, blame it on me for being unable to be cruel to you. I agreed to let u just remain like tat. But y must u take me for a fool even further. Instead of saving and returning to me, u choose to spend it on her.. I'm not saying u can't spend it on her but if u are realli tat capable then go ahead i won't haf a second words and i dun haf the rite for a second words. But y must u take advantage of me. I paid ur bills like a fool for u to call her. I didn't force u to return wat u owe me immediately for fear that u will haf no money to eat, no money to pay off ur things. But wat did I see! U going out and enjoying moments wif her while I struggle to pay off all the stupid debts. How can i not feel the injustice in me.. Not tat I couldn't haf u I dun wish u to haf her.. but just not on the expense of me. U do so many things for her which previously u didn't like. U nvr like taking pics & finding me a nusiance when i do so but not her.. U nvr like having any stupid friendster or facebook account but for her u open one on the context u just open to play games. U nvr once like going to night life but u now did cos she hurts u.. U nvr once brought me to a restaurant for dinner like how u treated her. U nvr once brought me to a movie paid by u and willingly.. I still remembered u once said it's a waste of money going to the movies. The so many "NOs" in ur life previously changed becos of her. I seriously wish u well but PLS realli PLS have some heart.. It hurts me not just seeing u guys together,on top of that the thought of me still foolishly paying for things i shdn't be hurts even even MORE.... I nvr once enjoyed life with u and I never will tat i noe but pls stop making my life miserable.. I'm TIRED~
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